Love Will Keep Us Together???

anniverary post

“Love will keep us together.” – hit song by The Captain and Tennille

Thirty-nine years. And it is over.

My heart is breaking for Captain and Tennille, (Daryl  Dragon and Toni Tennille) who are divorcing after nearly four decades of marriage.

Anytime I hear of a divorce, my heart breaks a little, whether I know the couple or not. And the longer the marriage, the more my heart aches.

Maybe because this couple was iconic in my youthful years. Maybe because they stayed out of the limelight, not airing their dirty laundry for all to see.

Maybe it is because in just eight-and-a-half years, my husband and I will be married for 39 years.

I usually don’t care why a couple breaks up, because, quite frankly, it is none of my business. But this time, I want to know. And I am not being nosy, because I am not seeking answers so I can scrutinize, demoralize or judge this couple.

I want answers, because what ever happened to end their marriage of almost 40 years, I don’t want it happening in mine.

Oh, that sounds really selfish, doesn’t it?

Certainly, I don’t intend for that to be selfish. I am truly curious. After conquering all of life’s ups and downs for so many years, what was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back at this stage of the game? And if either of them had any advice to share, I’d be happy to listen.

Truly, I feel a profound sense of loss for them. It can’t be easy to try to move on without the other.

Ironically, my spouse and I were discussing marriage just before I heard about Dragon’s and Tennille’s impending divorce. As I was doing some research online, I ran across numerous blogs about marriages ending after decades. Sharing the heartbreaking results with my husband, I asked him, “What about us? How can we prevent this?”

We have a long history, which includes a lot of love, a great friendship, some difficult times and a wonderful family. Maybe the separation due to military exercises, deployments and temporary duty gives us an appreciation of what life apart from each other is like. We learned not to take each other for granted, because we never know what curve ball life will throw our way. One set of orders can mean a year or more of separation.

We want to be a good example for our two children who are already married, and for the younger two who are still at home. We choose to tackle everything together as a team – good or bad.

Maybe there is good in knowing that if we don’t embrace each other, we could lose each other – kind of like, “live like you know you are dying.”

I am not sure what the answer is. All I know is that I hurt for this couple. I hope that they find the comfort and support they will need to get through this difficult time.

For me, I am a hopeless romantic.  I will continue to pray for my husband, our marriage and our family. I will pray that the Lord continues to bless us with many more years together. My husband is my best friend, and I can’t imagine life without him. 

© Lynne Cobb – 2014

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14 Responses to Love Will Keep Us Together???

  1. Motor City Bob says:

    I was so sad to hear that they were breaking up. I’m not really sure why, but it reminds me that a good marriage takes a lot of hard work by both the husband and wife. It also takes a lot of sharing, compromising and giving. Without these traits, a marriage can eventually deteriorate.

  2. Claudia Schmidt says:

    Things must have been pretty bad to break up after 39 years, I mean they must be in their late 70’s. I would think at that stage, they’d work out a resolution. Sad.

  3. Carol Cassara says:

    What’s so curious is that they waited so long. There MUST be a backstory here.

  4. dltolley says:

    So sad. I loved Captain and Tenille. They always seemed to be such good friends when I watched their TV program. Husby and I are in our 38th year. He’s still my best friend and most loyal supporter. We have had life’s ups and downs and have raised a wonderful family. I think including prayer in your strategy will pay huge dividends. I’m sure it has in ours . . .

  5. shannoncolleary says:

    Divorce is disheartening to those of us who are married, because it proves once again that marriage is a vulnerable institution and it takes two people to consistently try to make it work.

  6. Kimba says:

    Me too! Maybe it’s because their songs are so tied into the romantic notions of my childhood – “love will keep us together type of stuff.”

  7. Julie Phelps says:

    I recently read the statistics – cannot recite them with accuracy – that more and more couples married 40 plus years are now divorcing. Many are now in their 70s. To me, that indicates that all the glue that held them together for so long finally wore out. It could be they stuck it out for the kids, for combined or connected occupations, for just keeping up appearances. Whatever. The reasons can be varied. But if there was any inkling of an issue not ever resolved, of habits never fully ignored, of temperaments that often clashed more than melded, then a time came when the struggle was just not worth it anymore.

    Such tales make me aware more than ever of the need to openly communicate and resolve any sort of issue. Otherwise, things fester. And when we get older and feistier we resort to removing those long festering sores.

    • LynneCobb says:

      Absolutely, Julie. I believe communication is critical. And making sure you have “couple time” – no talk of children or work, remembering what brought you together to begin with!

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