Love, Loss, and Learning the Benefits of Witnessed Grief

Love, Loss, and Learning the Benefits of Witnessed Grief

love, loss and life lessons


It is no surprise that around the holidays, feelings of grief can kick into high gear. With the pressure of creating the “perfect” holiday, stuffing our feelings seems to be easier than dealing with them. Thankfully, the term, “Blue Christmas,” is being acknowledged, and several places of worship offer services and assistance because, well, it’s “a thing.”

Additionally, it’s no surprise that the longer we push uncomfortable feelings down, the more difficult they are to deal with, as they have a tendency to keep trying to be acknowledged.

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Love, loss and learning to incorporate grief

Excuse me while I dust off my blog space! Hope no one sneezed from the dust – because I certainly did!

So, where have I been lately? Have I stopped writing and blogging? No.

I just… couldn’t…

I have been recovering from a fractured femur, and the surgery required to put me back into the game of life.

Last year, I wrote about the weight of grief that had me down for the count. Can I share that I didn’t want to tell anyone that I had even more trauma and grief added earlier this year, when I tripped on a step and propelled into the air, sprawling across an entrance foyer, and landing on the unforgiving marble?

The irony was, I had been in Texas to celebrate our youngest son’s graduation from Air Force Basic Training. As he was headed to his advanced training to become a firefighter, I had the opportunity to meet some of San Antonio’s finest firefighters, as they transported me by ambulance to the hospital. I had never been in an ambulance before, so I can now check that off any social media “have you ever” listicle…

The long weekend that was originally planned turned into three weeks of recovery and rehabilitation before I could fly home. I could not put weight on my leg for a few months. Recovery and rehab continued with in-home care.

It was hard to feel creative and sit long enough to write anything. I learned a lot from this experience, such as, I can hop on one foot – using a walker for support – the distance of 150 feet. It was a great skill to have, since I had to literally, and figuratively, hop on a plane to get home. I used the walker sideways down the aisle to hop to my seat. Trust me, I could write volumes on how air travel is NOT friendly for anyone with mobility issues.

Art journaling
Art journaling kept me sane.
art journal
Coloring to the rescue!

Instead of writing for several months, I began art journaling. That really helped me stay sane.

There is a limit to how much one can watch TV, read or listen to podcasts. Going outside in a wheelchair was not easy. I was able to hop down a few steps to get outside. But to get back inside, I had to bottom-scoot backwards up the steps, slide on the floor to grab the counter-top, and with my spouse’s assistance, pull myself off the floor to a standing position. My arms became my legs. Thank God for the skills I learned in kindergarten – “crab” crawling, butt-scooting, hopping on one foot, and coloring. And napping.

The isolation of the injury was awful. At times, I sat in my wheelchair, looking out the window, watching life go by. I allowed myself to grieve, and then I was back to powering through the struggles and taking my life back.

There are so many parallels to my recovery from that physical trauma as well as the grief trauma I was already working on. New neural pathways had to be created in order for me to move – such as hopping – not much different from the new neural pathways created in my trauma therapy. And, neural pathways had to be dismantled, too. Such as, not needing to hop any more, when that was my first response. No different than dismantling the “I’m bad and not worthy” neural pathway created by that little girl who was processing sexual abuse. Basically, I was – and still am – learning to incorporate varying levels of grief, feeling them, and releasing them.

I had a lot of time to process and grieve what had happened – physically, spiritually and emotionally. Sometimes it was so painful, and other times, the a-ha moments made all “the deep, hard work” beautiful.

One of my occupational therapists told me that I be would stronger. His exact quote was, “You will be stronger and in better shape than before the fall and break.”

His exact quote was, “You will be stronger and in better shape than before the fall and break.” Click To Tweet

I cried when he said that. It didn’t seem true. Yet, as I look back, I believe those were the wisest words I have ever heard. Ever.

I may not be where I want to be yet, but I feel I am physically, emotionally and spiritually in better shape than I was before the fall. Not just in muscle mass and physical strength, but in my emotional and spiritual growth and strength as well.

What is the “deep, hard work?”

It is the grieving – the losses, the pain, the should-of, would-of, could-of. It is releasing the guilt that accompanies loss. Turning the “what if” into “even if.” And, it is in the happy tears of gratitude – the balance of the expelling the cleansing tears of grief and the experiencing the sweet tears of relief. It is learning how to incorporate grief and relief, and creating a new balance. It’s being kind and gentle with yourself on the days the grief is overwhelming, and embracing the days when it is not.

When I left the hospital, I grieved leaving behind the team that was so instrumental in getting me on the road to recovery. Yet, when I got home, I cried tears of joy when I saw our other three children and my precious dog, Sadie.

So, I am honoring both sadness and joy – and creating balance – as I continue on this crazy journey called life. So sad I was out of commission. So grateful to be coming back.

Much love,

Love and Loss

© Lynne Cobb – 2022

Love, Loss and Letting in a Bit of Joy

Love, Loss and Letting in a Bit of Joy

Fun with Food

Finding Joy in Grief

As I look at my posts for the past few years, I can see how life’s events have changed the trajectory of what I thought I’d be writing about.

Grief, trauma, trauma, grief – an endless loop.

Working through everything, I do see that it is possible to be grieving and living. Feeling sad while feeling glad. Feeling pain while feeling joy.

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Love Loss and Losing It All Under the Weight of Grief

Love, Loss and
Sculpture by Celeste Roberge

Love Loss and Losing It All Under the Weight of Grief

“I’d rather be in physical pain than emotional pain,” I’ve quipped several times during my healing journey. My new normal seems to be a series of tidal waves of grief that keep knocking me down. Despair, loss and the pain of grief just didn’t want to let up. My assumption that physical pain can be dealt with using pain killers went right out the window when my emotional pain manifested into physical pain.

Be careful what you wish for came to mind echoed in my mind.

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Life is a full circle

Life is a circle

“There are patterns which emerge in one’s life, circling and returning anew, an endless variation of a theme.” – Jacqueline Carey

Isn’t it funny how life is a full circle?

I remember it so clearly, though it was almost 32 years ago. We had just gotten married, and my husband and I loaded up my not-so-cool 1980 Mustang (a sorry excuse for a “hot” set of wheels… it was the model year when one could buy a four-cylinder, fuel-efficient, nothing-under-the-hood quasi-sports car).  We were heading from Michigan to Arizona, where we’d spend a few months while my husband was in school. I was pretty excited as we set off on our new adventure. Of course there were no cell phones, GPS or any other technological conveniences that we are accustomed to having when traveling today. We tossed the bags in the trunk, grabbed the maps, said our teary goodbyes and we were on our way.

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How I Celebrated Small Business Saturday


“Behind every small business, there’s a story worth knowing. All the corner shops in our towns and cities, the restaurants, cleaners, gyms, hair salons, hardware stores – these didn’t come out of nowhere.” – Paul Ryan

This past Saturday, my husband and I helped stimulate the local economy when we stepped out onto Main Street and took part in “Small Business Saturday.”

The idea isn’t really new to us. A few years ago, when we took the kids for a weekend get-away, we stayed away from stores and restaurants that we could patronize at home. The goal was to get a flavor for the towns we visited, to try foods indigenous to the area, and it spurned a habit that has continued today.

When our son worked at a small independent grocery store, I began to really see the need in supporting a business that supported my child through his high school years. The grocery store still receives a sizable portion of our grocery budget. They were flexible in working around his school and sport schedules. And now that our daughter works at a family-owned pizzeria, we support that business as well. These small, local businesses have been the springboard for students, first-time job holders and career paths for generations.

In addition to frequenting these businesses, we shop at our local Farmer’s Market almost every weekend, buying the freshest, locally-grown produce, farm-raised meats, flowers, honey and other grocery items. It is tastefully rewarding, to say the least. And we are getting to know the farmers that grow our food.

On our Saturday outing, we first stopped at the market. In addition to the usual load of produce, we discovered two local bakeries who have stands in the market, and, well, we started on our mission to stimulate the local economy. Then, we visited a few of the antique and vintage clothing vendors, where I found a winter jacket and – bonus – a vintage hat to match my previous week’s vintage coat find. The cost of the coats, plus the hat and dry cleaning bill came to the same price I would have paid for one coat at a big-box chain store, and the coats are unique! And warm – amazingly warm.

vintage hat

apple peeler We loaded our finds into the car, and off to the next stop, a thrift store, where there were all kinds of cool items from clothing to furniture to kitchen gadgets. I found an apple peeler – which would have been very handy when making my apple pie for Thanksgiving. (It was suggested that I now have no excuse to not make another!)

On we walked down Main Street, where we found yet another bakery, several unique clothing stores where we purchased Christmas gifts, and then we happened upon a mom and pop burger joint where we enjoyed sliders, fries and a beverage – lunch for two for $10. Not bad.

We couldn’t complain about the weather – sunny and around 40 degrees in November for our neck of the woods. It made the day even more enjoyable. Fresh air and fashionable finds – I found myself enjoying shopping, which is always more of a chore than a pleasure for me. I loved the fact that each shop we stopped in had friendly owners willing to take the time to assist us with our questions, and just chat. It felt good to purchase items right here in our community – the businesses that support our local schools and churches whenever we call looking for an item for a charity auction or a raffle.

I would be remiss if I didn’t disclose that I was a bit miffed at the larger retailers who opened on Thanksgiving this year, and I grew insanely weary of all the Black Friday and Cyber Monday commercials that ran on television and on the radio – not to mention the explosion of emails landing in my inbox.  So, in my own small way, I’d like to think I sent a message  of support to the businesses who did not participate in all the marketing hoopla.

For me, going to a big-box store was part of my usual routine when looking for a gift, furniture or clothing. But, taking a day and really exploring and walking the shops through my town, I now have a better idea of the unique options available. And I have a better appreciation for the folks who have chosen to make their living by being small business owners. I plan to support them more frequently, as they support my immediate community and schools. Who knows… I may end up becoming a shopaholic!

Did you participate in Small Business Saturday? If so, did you find the experience favorable?




Taste-testing, again!


Disclosure: I am participating in a Vibrant Influencer Network Healthy Choice campaign. I have been provided with free products and remuneration in exchange for my honest opinions about the products. All opinions are my own and were not influenced, nor reviewed, by Healthy Choice prior to posting.


My second round of food tasting for Healthy Choice was for the new Cafe Steamers. I rarely purchase frozen meals, because they are usually not very tasty, and with the size of our family, we’d be waiting in line all night to use the microwave. And, again, as I stated in my previous frozen yogurt post, we are trying to eat healthier – more organic and more locally grown foods.

So, I admit I was a little nervous in trying out the Beef Merlot. The photo on the package enticed me to choose it. It looked delicious – beef, carrots, potatoes and green beans in a savory sauce. Plus, I was curious as to how the steaming method would work. Placing the bowl in the microwave, I left the plastic wrap on as directed. As my dinner began to cook, the aroma filled the kitchen. So far, so good, as the Beef Merlot smelled delicious. In fact, my teenage son commented on what I was cooking. As I carefully peeled the wrapper and tipped the food from the steamer section into the bowl holding the sauce, I was impressed that the food looked good! No shriveling, the color was good, the veggies appeared crisp. Carefully mixing the sauce into the meat and veggies, I was looking forward to tasting.

                               981     982

                                984    985

I wasn’t disappointed. The beef chunks were tender, the veggies were crisp and the potatoes were just right. And, it tasted good. I was pleased with my quick dinner.

                                   976         993

For lunch the next day, I tried the Chicken Linguine with Red Pepper Alfredo. Using the same cooking instructions, I was again impressed with the coloring, texture and taste of the product. The veggies were crisp, the chicken was tender, and the noodles did not get mushy. Though I did prefer the Beef Merlot, the Chicken Linguine was good.

Apparently, the “tray-in-tray technology” that separates the ingredients while cooking works, as the vegetables are crisper and the pasta is al dente.

Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers would be handy to keep in the freezer for a quick lunch or if you find yourself dining solo. There are several varieties to choose from, including vegetarian dishes. There are no artificial flavorings or colors – yay! My only recommendations to improve the product would be to try to add organic meat and veggies, tone down a little on the salt, and, for big eaters like me, add a little more meat or chicken to the dish. Pare up the Cafe Steamer with a fresh salad, and you have a nice, quick meal.

Wanting to learn more or see all the options available in the Healthy Choice Cafe Steamer line? Just click on Cafe Steamers for details.

Have you tried Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers? If so, what do you think? Let me know in the comment section.

© Lynne Cobb – 2013

Sure, I’ll try some Greek Frozen Yogurt

healthy choice yogurt

Disclosure: I am participating in a Vibrant Influencer Network Healthy Choice campaign. I have been provided with free products and remuneration in exchange for my honest opinions about the products. All opinions are my own and were not influenced, nor reviewed, by Healthy Choice prior to posting.

One of my latest ventures in blogging is to test, review and write about products. In a short series, I will have tasted and tested products from Healthy Choice. I mean, who wouldn’t jump at the chance to try frozen yogurt? And as much as I love Greek yogurt, I was really excited to try the frozen concoction.

Healthy Choice Greek Frozen Yogurt is made with real non-fat milk, yogurt cultures and dairy protein. It tasted just like yogurt – creamy and tart. Before I dived in with my spoon, I let the container sit on the counter for a few minutes to soften. I was pleasantly surprised, as other frozen yogurt I have tried didn’t really have that yogurt taste.

The flavors I sampled, strawberry and raspberry, were both good. The strawberries gave the frozen treat an extra tang and tartness. My favorite of the two was the raspberry frozen yogurt. I think the sweetness of the fruit really balanced the yogurt tang. The bad girl in me wanted to bust open another container of the raspberry yogurt and drizzle some melted dark chocolate all over it. But I figured three containers of frozen yogurt in one day may be a bit excessive!

I was really appreciative of the serving size. To me, it was perfect – enough of a serving to satisfy one’s sweet tooth without going overboard on portion. As someone who beat Type 2 diabetes by changing my diet, losing weight and exercising, I am all for smaller dessert portions. The best way to blow a diet, or give up a change in better eating habits, is to deny oneself things like dessert! The Healthy Choice Greek Frozen Yogurt has 100 calories with 4 grams  of protein per serving, so whether enjoying a container for a dessert or to satisfy a mid-day (or mid-night!) sweet craving, this product would fit the bill.

In addition to the flavors I tried, Healthy Choice Frozen Greek Yogurt also comes in Dark Fudge Swirl (which I am going to try soon!), Vanilla, Blueberry and Honey (Sweet! If I add wheat germ, would it be considered breakfast??!)

Now, I wouldn’t be true to myself or my readers if I wasn’t upfront about what most of you know about me – that I am doing my best to eliminate household chemicals and eat organic and locally grown foods. So, that being said, I was really happy to see that there were no artificial flavors or colors in the two Healthy Choice Greek Frozen Yogurt snacks I tried. And, since all-organic all the time is not always possible, or affordable, it is nice to see that there are some better choices hitting the frozen food section for those of us doing our best  to make better food choices. I would love to see Healthy Choice Frozen Greek Yogurt offer a line of organic snacks, or even just eliminate the modified corn syrup. So, while I wait for that day, I in the meantime, I will add this frozen treat to my “I can have this for dessert” list.

For readers wanting more information on Healthy Choice Frozen Greek Yogurt, feel free to click on this link: httpsss:// Additionally, if you would like to try Healthy Choice Frozen Greek Yogurt, you can download and print off a $1 off coupon with this link: httpsss://

Happy snacking!

rasp yogurt

© Lynne Cobb – 2013

Hello world!


Greetings from my new, improved blog space! Please be patient as I figure out how to add my old posts to the new site, and get to writing new posts…basically, I am starting from scratch! But that’s okay – this process has taught me a lot about transferring domains, decoding “geek-speak,” saving and backing up files – all good – as I am continuing to learn in the ever-evolving technological world!

So…If you have moved a blog from one domain to the next, let me know how you fared! And I will probably pester you to help me from time to time!

Geez – I just can’t seem escape constructions zones this summer 🙂

Have you gone from your technological comfort zone? Feel free to comment!

This #Boomer is having too much fun

“Disclosure: I am participating in the Verizon Boomer Voices program, and have been provided with a wireless device and six months of service in exchange for my honest opinions about the product.”


A few weeks ago, I posted a blog letting the world know that I was chosen to be part of a group of #Boomer bloggers. It was wonderful to meet so many talented, articulate women, whose blogs are great! (Note: I will get to adding them to my BlogRoll – soon.)

As members of the #VZWVoices, we were traveled to Chicago, put up at the Allerton Hotel, and attended classes where we learned about the device that would become an integral part of our lives: the Motorola Droid Razr Maxx HD. To get us to really use this device, we have been given unlimited data – and anyone who has data constraints knows that is an addicting feature.

So, the requirements we have for sharing our experiences with our phone is to be completely honest. And honestly, I am in love with the camera. 

Leaving the conference, my head was swimming with facts and features and I couldn’t wait to get home and play with my new tech toy. But I admit, I haven’t tried even a smidgen of the features, because I keep playing with the camera! It takes great pictures. And since I am not a professional photographer, and haven’t ever owned a “really good” camera, I am spending way too much time taking pictures and playing with the photo editor. And, for those who know me too well, I freely admit I don’t have a lot of patience. So, for me to take a picture, edit and play and tweak the features in an instant – well, yes, I am hooked.

Above is a very simple shot I took of some sunflowers I bought yesterday. Below, I have posted the images as I tweaked them:

Black and white:






Auto Fix:


Again, all done in seconds! Just remember to “save” any changes you want to keep (yep – learned that the hard way!).

Stay tuned for more updates, and photos!

© 2013 – Lynne Cobb