“Love will keep us together.” – hit song by The Captain and Tennille
Thirty-nine years. And it is over.
My heart is breaking for Captain and Tennille, (Daryl Dragon and Toni Tennille) who are divorcing after nearly four decades of marriage.
Anytime I hear of a divorce, my heart breaks a little, whether I know the couple or not. And the longer the marriage, the more my heart aches.
Maybe because this couple was iconic in my youthful years. Maybe because they stayed out of the limelight, not airing their dirty laundry for all to see.
Maybe it is because in just eight-and-a-half years, my husband and I will be married for 39 years.
I usually don’t care why a couple breaks up, because, quite frankly, it is none of my business. But this time, I want to know. And I am not being nosy, because I am not seeking answers so I can scrutinize, demoralize or judge this couple.
I want answers, because what ever happened to end their marriage of almost 40 years, I don’t want it happening in mine.
Oh, that sounds really selfish, doesn’t it?
Certainly, I don’t intend for that to be selfish. I am truly curious. After conquering all of life’s ups and downs for so many years, what was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back at this stage of the game? And if either of them had any advice to share, I’d be happy to listen.
Truly, I feel a profound sense of loss for them. It can’t be easy to try to move on without the other.
Ironically, my spouse and I were discussing marriage just before I heard about Dragon’s and Tennille’s impending divorce. As I was doing some research online, I ran across numerous blogs about marriages ending after decades. Sharing the heartbreaking results with my husband, I asked him, “What about us? How can we prevent this?”
We have a long history, which includes a lot of love, a great friendship, some difficult times and a wonderful family. Maybe the separation due to military exercises, deployments and temporary duty gives us an appreciation of what life apart from each other is like. We learned not to take each other for granted, because we never know what curve ball life will throw our way. One set of orders can mean a year or more of separation.
We want to be a good example for our two children who are already married, and for the younger two who are still at home. We choose to tackle everything together as a team – good or bad.
Maybe there is good in knowing that if we don’t embrace each other, we could lose each other – kind of like, “live like you know you are dying.”
I am not sure what the answer is. All I know is that I hurt for this couple. I hope that they find the comfort and support they will need to get through this difficult time.
For me, I am a hopeless romantic. I will continue to pray for my husband, our marriage and our family. I will pray that the Lord continues to bless us with many more years together. My husband is my best friend, and I can’t imagine life without him.
© Lynne Cobb – 2014
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