Birthday parties and funerals

“Presents don’t really mean much to me. I don’t want to sound mawkish, but – it was the realization that I have a great many people in my life who really love me, and who I really love.” – Gabriel Byrne

Somehow, I have made it through “The Year of Firsts.”

It was July 24, 2011, in the very early hours of the morning, that Dad was called to be with the Lord. At 1:40 a.m., he ceased to breathe on this side of Heaven, and continued his pain-free journey with those he loved who had gone on before him.

He may have broken a record for the shortest stay in Hospice, as he was wheeled into the room around 4:30 p.m. on July 23, and didn’t even make it a full 10 hours. I remember it vividly. And these past few weeks, as hard as I tried, I couldn’t help but to remember every single detail. Every single detail.

The Alzheimer’s ravaged his memory, but one thing that will always stand out during his last stage of life was his love of children. He was fascinated watching them, and enjoyed visits with his grandchildren and his great-granddaughters. His entire face lit up when he was around them. I think, too, that the kids had no fear of him. I believe some adults who knew Dad feared him because of his disease – not knowing what to say, how to react or if they’d somehow catch his dreaded, memory-sucking affliction.

So as we neared the one-year mark, this was how my brain functioned; like an over-worked diary that spit out timeline info on a continuous basis:

“July 10, the ambulance took him from the nursing home to the hospital; July 11, a ventilator was inserted; July 22, the ventilator was removed and the sedation was turned off…” and on and on and on my thoughts went.

Thinking I was going crazy (hey, no comments from the peanut gallery out there!), I shared my concern with a friend who lost both her parents recently. She asked how I was doing, and I was a bit emotional saying, “It’s one year today. He died at 1:40 a.m. last year, and I woke up at 1:55 a.m. this morning. My first thought was, ‘It is finished,’ and I cried.” With a hug she comforted me, and admitted that she went through this process as part of her grief experience as well. I felt better. Like I hadn’t totally lost it.

So I embraced those times and dates. Difficult as they may be, those memories are part of my history, and they make me who I am today.

I allowed my brain to continue:

“July 25, we met with the funeral director and pastor, planning the visitation and funeral. July 25 and 26, we collected photos and memories to celebrate his life on July 28.”

July 28 – a year ago today, at this very time – we gathered with several hundred people and celebrated Dad’s life.

But July 28 has another major significance for me. It is my granddaughter’s birthday. We will gather today, on her fourth birthday, to celebrate her life.

Could it be God‘s hand at work, as we gather today, to yet again celebrate life?

I believe so.

© 2012 – Lynne Cobb

My super awesome granola

 

I am totally taking bragging rights on my granola.

Here’s the scoop. Last summer, I made my very first batch of the toasted-oat, yummy goodness. You may wonder why would I go through all that trouble when I could just walk to the store and buy a box? Well, I couldn’t justify the amount of money to pay for the commercial stuff, because, frankly, it isn’t all that good. And if you grab a box with raisins, yuck! I am not disrespecting the raisin, but let’s face it: the raisins found in a box of granola are so hard to chew, it feels like they are pulling the fillings right out of my teeth.

I glanced at a recipe that was on joyofbaking.com, which looked really simple, and I modified it to my liking.

The benefit of this basic recipe is that you can add what ever you like: pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pecans, etc. It is great plain, with milk or on top of yogurt.

It is so easy you’ll wonder why you haven’t made it before…

Super Awesome Granola

3 cups of old-fashioned rolled oats
1 cup of coconut
1 cup of sliced almonds
¼ cup of wheat germ
½ tablespoon of cinnamon
¼ teaspoon of salt
2 tablespoons of coconut oil (melted)
¼ cup of maple syrup
¼ cup of honey
1 cup of dried fruit (I usually use cherries or cranberries)

Preheat oven to 325 degrees (F). Line baking sheet with parchment paper.

In a large bowl, mix together oats, coconut, almonds, wheat germ, cinnamon and salt.

In a small bowl, mix together oil, syrup and honey.

Pour the liquid over dry ingredients, and mix to coat. Spread into prepared pan, and bake 30-45 minutes or until golden brown. Stir every 10-15 minutes. The more it browns, the crunchier it will be. Cool on a wire rack. It will crisp up as it dries, so break up any large clumps while mixture is warm. Add dried fruit and mix well. Place in an air-tight container and store in the refrigerator.

Have you attempted to make granola before? If so, how did it turn out?

© 2012 – Lynne Cobb

The Mom Who Cried, “Pizza!”

“If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.”  Al Bernstein

What started out as a little joke was rather revealing. Now, to preface all of this, I’m a mom of four, two of which are out the door and married; and two teens who are still at home.

It’s an awesome time, in their lives and mine. And I do mean that! It is a time of tremendous growth for the kids, and, at the same time, it is a time where a tremendous number of gray hairs grow on my head. There are plenty of stressful issues: driver’s training and sports injuries and teenage angst and such. But there is a lot of fun, and joy, too, in watching my teens turn into young adults.

We teach each other lots of things. I have shown them how a washing machine and a vacuum cleaner work. They patiently work with me on new technology, like how to use my cell phone. And how to Twitter. Plus, I’ve had some real deep conversations via text, too. So it’s all good. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss them all being little, home around the dinner table and tucked into bed by 8 p.m. each night.

This summer is giving me a peek into the future. Between their work, social, and – dare I say – sleep schedules, I don’t see them much. My husband and I are getting used to dinner for two. Come fall, when they are back to school and on a schedule, I’ll see more of them, I’m sure.

So… here’s my weekend faux pax using texting: purely by accident, I found a sure-fire way to get a teen home for dinner.

Picture this: a wonderful dinner of barbecued pork-chops, seasoned grilled potatoes, fresh pineapple slices and veggies was being served at 6:45 p.m. One teen was at work, so I sent the obligatory text to the other available teen. And here’s how it went:

Me: “Will you be home for dinner?”

Teen: “Doubt it. What are we having anyway?”

Me: “Pizza.”

Me: “But does it matter, you aren’t going to be here anyway.”

Me: “Oops – I mixed up the “P” meal…it’s Porkchops, Potato, Pineapple.”

And that was it. No reply at all to any of my texts.

It looked like another quiet dinner for two.

But in what seemed like seconds, here is my beautiful teenage daughter, in person, at the table.

Teen: “Where’ the pizza?”

Me: “Didn’t you get my texts? I was joking.”

Teen: “No, I was riding my bike home. I can’t believe you did that. M-o-o-o-o-om! I could have had pizza with my friends! That’s what they were having!”

She said it laughingly, not appreciating the joke but totally appreciating knowing that her presence is missed at the dinner table.

Since she is a whiz on her phone, without ever missing a text, I never dreamed she’d read “pizza,” shove her phone in her bag, jump on the bike and head home without a text response like, “Pizza? Really? Awesome! Can my friends come, too?”

Wow – I totally underestimated the power of pizza.

Seriously, she really was a good sport about the whole incident, but I wouldn’t dare do that again.

I could get the reputation of “crying pizza.”

So the next time she texts, “what’s for dinner,” I’ll text back, “Chinese food.”

She likes almond boneless chicken as much as pizza…

© 2012 – Lynne Cobb

Inspired to write by a chewy granola bar…

“Marge, it’s 3 a.m. Shouldn’t you be baking?” – Homer Simpson

I have a huge announcement to make that will come as no big surprise…some days I just can’t get it into gear.

Like today. I have a few writing projects I was working on, which seemed to be going nowhere – and fast. And when re-reading my work, both pieces sounded flat and boring and I was getting a wee bit agitated. Staring into space, with no direction, or organization and wondering what to do next, I witnessed the laundry pile growing higher – right before my very eyes. Lugging the ever-expanding basket down the steps, I threw a load in the machine. Turning around, I glanced at the pantry shelf.

Big mistake. I turned my head. I looked away. It didn’t work. Game over. The can of sweetened condensed milk won.

I had bought it a few weeks ago to try out a recipe I clipped at out of a magazine eleven months ago. (On a sorting binge, I found it again last week!) Thinking I have adult ADHD, I raced up the steps, can in hand, and stopped everything I was doing to make granola bars. Nevermind the cleanser drying to a hard finish in the tub, or the mounds of laundry sitting, in damp eagerness, waiting for my return to the basement. Forget the sticky notes and voicemails and 17 windows open all at once on the laptop. I stopped it all and baked. I was energized and motivated and multi-tasking and modifying and measuring and making an enormous mess.

Whew! Although it looked like a tornado blew through the kitchen, apparently, I needed a creative break to re-engage my brain. It all hit me as the cinnamony-aroma of the sweet smell of success enveloped the kitchen and wafted towards me. My a-ha moment revealed that I wasn’t multi-tasking at all! I was tackling a project that I knew I could finish. It took my mind off of all my other incomplete projects, giving me the chance to feel creatively complete. While the granola bars baked, I mixed up a batch of granola, switched laundry and finished a few other mundane chores.  Talk about a win-win: I benefitted from freeing my mind so that I could get back to writing; my family benefitted from a yummy snack, and you, you very lucky readers, you get to benefit from my modified recipe that turned out super scrumptious.

Let me know if you give these a try. I found the original recipe in the USA Weekend magazine. Eleven months ago.

Ooey, Gooey, Chewy Granola Bars

2 cups of rolled oats

1/4 cup of wheat germ

1/2 cup of chocolate chips

3/4 cup of dried cranberries (or dried fruit of your choice)

1 can (14 oz) of sweetened condensed milk

cinnamon sugar

(Note: 1 cup of almonds were part of the original recipe)

Adjust oven rack to a lower-middle position and pre-heat oven to 325. Grease a 9″ square pan (I used an 8″ pan and baked a little longer.) I then lined the pan with greased foil (so I could use foil to lift bars from pan) and set pan aside.

Mix all ingredients (except cinnamon sugar) and pat down into prepared, foil-lined pan. Sprinkle with cinnamon sugar. Bake about 30 minutes (35-40 if using 8″ pan). Cool to room temperature, then place pan into freezer until firm.

To cut easier, I placed a piece of parchment paper on my wooden cutting board, removed foil and using a sharp knife, carefully cut into 8 bars. You can make them smaller, but I have teenagers and they don’t care much for “fun size” goodies 🙂

I wrapped them individually, but you can store them in an air-tight container. They should last a week without refrigeration or freezing, but I am betting my stash will be gone in three days.

Enjoy!

© 2012 – Lynne Cobb

A sticky lesson from Lynne’s Lab

“The secret of my success is my hairspray.” – Richard Gere

Most of my readers are aware that I’ve been switching to greener and less toxic items for my family, especially with cleaning and personal care products. My heightened awareness came about when I was researching Alzheimer’s disease after my dad’s diagnosis. Using less chemicals seemed to make more sense to me, whether experts link disease with these items or not.

It has been a period of lab testing since the last edition of “Lynne’s Lab.” For the most part, I have been pleased with the results of my “make-your-own” products.

I made three gallons of liquid laundry detergent on May 30, and I gave a gallon to my oldest daughter to try. I still have about a half-gallon left and we’re all still happy with the results – both in the cleaning and the budget departments!

My hubby and I are still enjoying the results of the toothpaste, and trust me when I tell you that the deodorant has been given a workout in this record-breaking heat and its performance is fantastic. (I added the links below.)

The dishwasher powder and shampoo formulas need to be tweaked for better results before I post them…

But wait! There’s more! I made…drum-roll please…hair spray! Yes, indeed, a hairspray that not only works, but one that doesn’t reek of chemicals and fumigate my house.  Three simple ingredients and I admit that I totally doubted this would work. It would cost me very little to try this – other than time to re-wash my hair – so, game on:

I heated one cup of water to almost boiling, and removed it from the heat. Then I added four teaspoons of sugar, and stirred until it was completely dissolved. Once it cooled, I added a few drops of my favorite essential oil – lavender – and then funnelled the liquid into a spray bottle. I shook it gently before using, and allowed it to dry (it takes a “hair” bit longer to set than commercial spray.) Viola! It worked: a great spray, cheap, not stinky and it really made my hair shine. The true test came this past week with in 100 degree heat, and this stuff really held up.

Let me know if any of my experiments have worked for you! Stay tuned – more formulas to come!

© 2012 – Lynne Cobb

Reflections on July 4th

I skipped our neighboring town’s Fourth of July parade this morning. It isn’t quite the same since my children are older and aren’t real concerned about collecting the candy loot along the parade route. Instead, I enjoyed the quiet of the morning along with a cup of coffee.

The air was already humid and hot as I placed the our flag in the holder. Of course, like every minute of every day, I thought of my dad while I adjusted the flag. He was such a patriot – he put the flag out everyday. When we surprised him with an awesome flag pole one year, complete with a light so he could leave the flag up at night, you wouldn’t believe the smile. His entire face lit up, and he tended to that flag faithfully. The landscaping and lighting were always perfect. He’d have it no other way.

We used to have a blast – pun intended – on the Fourth of July. When we were young kids, we would go to my dad’s brother’s house for the day. It was great: grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, awesome food, sparklers. In the evening, we’d sit at the foot of my uncle’s driveway and watch the fireworks. The smell of barbecued burgers, fireworks and cigar smoked enveloped us.

If there was a ball game on, you can bet it was being listened to, with an adjustment to an antenna to reduce the static. And you can safely bet my dad, uncle and grandfather would gripe about what the Detroit Tigers were doing – or not doing – that particular season. Words were peppered with expletives, making us kids laugh and our mothers blush.

As time went on, the trees in the park grew, and we lost our vantage point view at my uncle’s house. We moved the event to the park, and as us kids grew older, we went our own separate ways with our own friends. Eventually, there were weddings, moves across town and across the country. The passing of time and relatives changed the face of the Fourth of July.

When my little (at the time!) family moved back “home” after our military moves, we started our own tradition of attending parades and fireworks. Our town sponsored both, and so our house became like my uncle’s: filled with relatives, kids running, barbecue and water balloons. All day long, our house had continuous movement, anticipating the fireworks at night.

With each flag I see today, I’ll think of my dad the patriot. He loved the military, for which he was not called to serve.  I often imagine that if he could have gone to basic training, he would be the guy who was super buff because he’d have done thousands of push-ups due to smart-aleck remarks made to his drill sergeant. As fiercely protective he was of his family, I bet he would have been an outstanding non-commissioned officer. His guys would come first – I know that in my heart.

Of course, he’ll be missed this evening when we toss the burgers on the grill. We’ll laugh about the year my dad ran off like a bat out of hell to correct an ignorant punk who  stupidly threw a firecracker towards my young children as we walked home from the fireworks. Boy, did that guy mess with the wrong family 🙂

Dad, enjoy viewing the fireworks tonight from your new vantage point. I bet it will be awesome.

© 2012 – Lynne Cobb