“I’ve learned how to use my spam filter pretty effectively.” – Al Yankovic
Spam. Oh, spam. You are such a time suck for every blogger. Spam. Spam. And more spam. Like dust bunnies pro-creating and making more work in some secluded corner somewhere, spammers are out in full force, grabbing each key word and twisting my content into a new level of craziness to fit their message. They try so hard to “fit in” to the real comments waiting moderation. They try so hard to be relevant.
There was a time, not so long ago, that I would greet each email comment notification from WordPress with glee! But that love affair is quickly ending, and I find myself becoming more and more aggravated with having to waste my writing time on sorting through comments such as these:
- “She grew sharp pangs.” Gee, I hope that was before she read my blog post!
- “Many thanks for the great write-up.” You’re welcome. I had you in mind all along.
- “The item the simple truth is once were a amusement account it. Look difficult to additional launched pleasant within your mind you should we converse.” Huh? Well, at least it was spelled correctly…
- “As the sun shone on, his hair glittered and flashed so that the rays fell into payday loans.” Wow – I didn’t know it worked that way. Thanks for the info. I’ll click that hyperlink you included – not.
- “This is the best websites I have read.” Aww – that means so much coming from you.
- “The outposts of civilizations are payday loans.” Really? So, all those historians had it wrong.
- “He curled down the weeds carpet cleaning.” Yeah, not really getting this…
- “…He met an old woman who asked him where he was going. “I hardly know where I am going,” said the soldier, “but I think I should carpet clean Santa Monica.” I bet the folks in Santa Monica think so, too.
- “I noticed it’s hard to find you on Google.” Really??? It sure doesn’t seem to be a problem for you…
These are just a few examples I receive multiple times per day. Most are written in, dare I say, English. I have tried to translate all the foreign language comments, but I haven’t yet mastered Russian, Chinese, Arabic and other languages, so I will go with the assumption that they, too, are being kind.
A few comments are, as a fellow blogger puts it, “spam-pliments.” They are quite nice, if I do say so myself. Some of the spam comments are very pornographic. (And, no, I don’t need to enlarge something that didn’t come with my original packaging. But I digress.)
Apparently, spamming is working for someone, or the spammers wouldn’t keep spamming, right? These folks wouldn’t keep phishing if they came up empty-handed. So somewhere out there in the vast social media, email and blogging world, someone is clicking these odd-ball hyperlinks and encouraging spammers and hackers to keep on trying to infiltrate my site.
It makes me want to hunt those fools down and spam-smack them into cyberspace.
No wonder “she grew sharp pangs.” I now understand how that can happen.
© 2014 – Lynne Cobb
Are you being harassed by Sir Spam-A-Lot and his merry crew of hackers? Do you chuckle at the messages or delete them without looking? Let me know in the comments below.