Like many families, we were dealt a blow with my dad’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis. His early onset robbed our family of precious time with him. Frustrating? Beyond words. Could there be a more humiliating disease? Not likely. The phrases “death without a funeral” and “the long goodbye” sum up Alzheimer’s disease perfectly.
So, how does (or did) your family handle this disease? Are there any words of wisdom you’d like to share?
Our family tried to handle as much as we could with a smile. We decided that it was better to laugh at certain situations than to cry. And trust me, we’ve done our share of crying.
Dad’s battle with this horrid disease ended in the very early hours of July 24, 2011. The affects of his disease and death were life changing and continue to shape, challenge and change me as I move forward without my dad.
Lynne, my mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia (early stage) a couple of years ago. As you put it, it’s been a long good-bye, yet there are good days in between the tough ones, and sometimes I see bright glimmers of my “pre-dementia” mother. I’ve found that it can be therapeutic to write about it, but sometimes it’s hard to strike a balance between sharing enough and sharing too much. (My 25-year-old son is very protective of his grandma, and I think he’s still trying to process what’s happening to her.)
My father-in-law died last summer — of Alzheimer’s complications. Like your dad, he was hit with this insidious disease very early. One day, when he was in his early 60s, he came to pick me up from the Jeep dealership because my car was being repaired. I realized there was something wrong when he drove to our former house to drop me off … we had moved to another home a few blocks away two years prior. It broke my heart to realize that his memory loss was really getting worse. I still remember choking back tears when I had to say, “Dad, this isn’t my house; we don’t live there anymore.”
Cindy,
I agree…what do you write about to keep the patient’s dignity, and what can you write about for your own therapy? My heart breaks each time I read your comment. Thank you for posting…we’re in this together, my friend.