It must be true. I read it online.

It must be true. I read it online.

It must be true. I read it online.

 “Knowledge is good.” Emil Faber – Faber College – Animal House

This morning, as I was drinking my lemon water (I read online that this is good for you), I started reading all kinds of neat new tricks for every ailment and flaw under the sun. As the last shot of lemon water sent a sour shiver down my spine, I reached for the coffee, and then started my routine of quenching my thirst for knowledge.

My readers know that I research everything before posting what has worked for me. So for the good of all humanity, I will try just about anything within reason. I am a sucker for click-bait. Oh the shame I feel for admitting this. I know better, really I do, and hard as I try, I can’t help myself.  I’ll read anything, from health info to DIY to “easy recipes.” I have been drinking in and soaking up information like a mad woman. FYI: This morning, I took an online quiz which assures me that I am 99.7% mentally healthy. If that doesn’t give merit to my posts, I don’t know what will.

I just can’t help myself. I tempt fate each time I click an article stating, “Four hacks that will blah blah blah.” (Seriously, if I see “hack” in another headline I will yack.) And yet I rationalize my behavior: what if I don’t read this gem, and I miss the kernel of knowledge that leads me to the fountain of youth? Or a great place to visit? Or makes me healthy without exercise while I eat gelato?

Anyhow, the other day I found a video that shared the secret to fuller-looking hair. Click. I got sucked into watching this one. Why? Quite simply it is because I can’t spend the day wondering what I missed.  For about a minute I listened to a “pre-poo” treatment (read: before shampooing). The next morning, I slathered coconut oil all over my head, sat down with my lemon water and started reading more ways to improve my writing, blogging, relationships, finances, long-term marriage and more. Ah, the euphoric wave of self-improvement is energizing. Or was it the lemon water? Whatever is was, it was time to put the device down. My 30 minutes of pre-conditioning was over.

Heading to the shower, I glanced in the mirror and my remorse began. My hair looked reminiscent of my teenage years – oily, stringy and disgusting. An odd, internal warmth began to rise, and I wasn’t sure if I was feeling a panic attack or a hot flash – both which are brought on by stress.  What have I done???  It was time to see if this latest self torture experiment was going to work.

Using my paraben-free shampoo (because I read online that chemicals are bad), I started shampooing my hair.

I whispered an expletive, as I didn’t want to wake everyone by yelling. (I read online somewhere you shouldn’t scare people out of a dead sleep.) My hair wasn’t squeaky clean. At all. It was akin to water running off a duck. Another round of lather, rinse, repeat. And other. Until – finally – my hair was clean. Now, not only was I running late, I was also running out of hot water and shampoo.

I know, I know, there are way more problems in the world today than whether or not I have:  1) clean hair; 2) full-bodied hair; 3) no shampoo. But everything is a learning experience when you devote yourself to, um, experiments.

My take away is that the pre-conditioning worked, but I definitely need to plan ahead next time. (I read that online).

Also, I need to pay attention to the weather. After my initial panic, I ended up with a good hair day morning. Yay! Except we had snow and sleet, which, in turn, became a bad hair day for me as I was pelted with freezing rain while scraping the ice off the car windows.

In the end, I believe the tiny shards of ice were good for my lovely locks. Melting, they turned to rain water, which is good for rinsing your hair.

And I know it must be true. I read it online.

© Lynne Cobb – 2015

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8 Responses to It must be true. I read it online.

  1. Bob Wonnacott says:

    Great story (and experience), Lynne. I am usually skeptical about a lot of the “home remedies” that are online. I’m sure many work and I’m sure some are more work than initially indicated. Glad you had a positive result. Thanks for posting!

  2. Nancy Petterson says:

    Laughing – as I can so totally see you going through all of these motions – THIS is Why I Pray For YOU! HAHAHAHAHAAaaaa

  3. Anne-Marie says:

    Funny! And yes, editors are working really hard to come up with headlines that will make us click. It’s all about the page views after all. But I’m glad that the coconut oil conditioning worked for you. I’ve been meaning to try it for a while and never gathered the courage to do it. 🙂
    Anne-Marie recently posted…Ideas to show support on International Women’s Day, March 8My Profile

  4. Pam Houghton says:

    What a fun blog post, Lynne. But what you describe is exactly why I try not to hang out on the Internet too much. Everyone has “all the answers” and yet no one really does.
    Pam Houghton recently posted…Advice that stands the test of timeMy Profile

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